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Thursday, November 1, 2012

17 Days


These last 17 days have been probably some of the longest in my life.

The last time we "spoke" I told you I was having a "Chemical Pregnancy". Things have changed... a bit.


So, as instructed, and against what my gut was telling me, I stopped meds. They told me I would start bleeding in a few days and that on the 3rd day of the bleed, we could start birth control and then soon after start meds again.

So I waited.

One day passed, then two, then three... they kept going. With no sign of anything happening. What "symptoms" I did have, I still had. I was still bloated, couldn't fit into my pants, my sense of smell was through the roof...etc.

They had me schedule a follow up blood draw so they could see if my numbers were near being less than 5. So, you can imagine my surprise when I got a call just an hour or so later, saying they had actually raised another 200 or so "points".

Odd.

It was no longer a chemical, they didn't know what it was, so I finally got the U/S I has asked for after being told "chemical". 

I lay there, legs spread with a wand up my stuff, and staring at a screen. They checked my tubes. Nothing. Good. My ovaries... also good. Then we moved to the uterus. I saw it, briefly, something was there. It was not empty, I was pregnant.

No. I had saw something, a sac.. measuring between 4-5 weeks with nothing else inside of it. All that was in there was an empty sac and some "free fluid". The remainders of Embryo #2??? No idea.

I started bleeding that day, spotting really. And that continued for days. Finally, it got a little heavier, and then it lightened up again.

That brings me today.

Today I had an U/S. They told me it was a "pre-op" U/S, to see what all was left, as they didn't think I had passed the sac with minimal bleeding I'd had. They told me I was going to have a D&C.. next week. Finally, it would be done.... but I hated the thought of it as it would put off the transfer for another 3 months.

Today, I lay there, legs spread with a wand in my stuff.....nothing was there. No sac, nothing. It looked liked it did when I had my monitoring appointments....

It was the strangest feeling... I was happy to have an empty uterus... I finally feel like it's done.. I'm ready to give these people a baby, and now we can start soon.

I don't have dates yet, I'm sill waiting for the official email... but I feel like I can exhale a little....

Those days of no bleeding, followed by bleeding that was nothing like the "miscarriage" bleeding I'd heard about. It was painful though, but non unmanageable. Finally they are over, and when I wake up tomorrow I will know I am NOT pregnant.

It was so weird... people would ask how the pregnancy was... I'd tell them the babyies) didn't make it. They'd day "so you miscarried?" No... not really.... they're still in there....


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