Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The "About Me" Post

I'll go ahead and start this off with the basics. My name is Michelle. I have a son and husband that mean the world to me. I'm 22 and have been blogging off and on since early in my pregnancy last year. I vlog a lot more than I blog, but I'm trying to even them out, slowly but surely.

I think this blog will be easier to keep going. My one other blog is just about my normal average life, and it's really not that exciting.

I decided to become a Surrogate in December of 2011, officially. I toyed with the idea earlier, but I didn't look much into it. This was just two months after I had my son, and if you'd asked me even a month earlier I would say I was never EVER pushing anything out of THERE again. You see how long I kept that idea going.......

Now not only am I on my way to becoming pregnant again... I'm also pushing out SOMEONE ELSE'S baby.

In the beginning, around January, I applied at a few agency's and acquainted my self with SMO. For those that don't know what I'm talking about, it's an online board for surrogacy. Classifieds, actually. I got the go ahead from a couple of them, but was still struggling with that I wanted to do. (explanation in a second...)

Let's talk money. Now, I'd guess 90% of the people,--I could be wrong, but let's believe in a higher percentage of decent people--are serious when they start placing/reading ads and thinking about surrogacy as  a great gift to give to a person(s). Then there is the other 10% that are either not completely devoted to the idea, or are just out for a scam, or for the money.

I don't think any Gestational Carrier/Traditional Surrogate that has received compensation will ever say that the money wasn't handy. It is...or for me, will be.

I didn't know in the beginning that Surrogates got compensation. It was a nice surprise when I found out they did. Honestly, I would love to be so financially set that I could just do a Compassionate Surrogacy, but i'm not. And I don't think a lot of people are in the current times. My husband and I both work, pay our bills provide for ourselves and our son, but that's pretty much it.

Returning to my aforementioned struggle....In my experience, the majority of the couples I had spoken to who were working independently, were offering more money. I'd be lying if I said that it didn't have a bit of pulling power. It did. So, I decided to focus more on independent couples rather than agencies.

This is when I met a couple. We spoke and I THOUGHT we hit it off fairly well. I sent them all my information. By Marc, nothing had been resolved, so I wrote one of my last letters to them asking if we were moving forward.  (keep in mind I wrote every other week or so. I always initiated it, never them). I was told I was one of  3 surrogates they were viewing and that they would have their RE call me. I did, after another two weeks get a phone interview with their doctor. I felt like were finally moving forward, and then nothing happened. So I waited two more weeks, and wrote asking if they had made a decision. I was fine if they hadn't chosen me, but I wanted to know. I was completely confused with the message I received back. 'There are no contracts at this time, Thank you for your interest."

That was that. We haven't communicated since late March/early April.

They were offering twice what the agencies would offer. My only assumption is that they realized they were no longer able to pay that, or they just weren't that serious about it.

I was bummed for awhile. I felt like I had wasted 5 months that I could have been looking/already pregnant.

So, I finished the paperwork on the agency I had previously been working with. I should add, so I don't sound completely horrible, I had asked to have my application suspended due to some family medical issues,  and this all happened while my application was suspended. I didn't just disappear from Radar.

Now, here I am. I'm 3 weeks from when I head out to LA for our Medical and Psych Evaluation. And it irritates me so bad that I could have already been through this and matched. Lesson learned I suppose. I really recommend going via an agency your first time. Wait until your more experienced to go independent.

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