Friday, September 19, 2014

Surrogacy Transfer Day (9/9/2014)

Transfer day has came and went, and I finally have a moment to sit and tell you about it. As scheduled, on September 9th, the one year birthday of my surro-twins' birth, I drove into the city with my husband and child.

My IM, who for privacy purposes I'm calling Lara, was already at the clinic, waiting. I noticed her right away as we walked in and fave a little wave. She got up and walked over to us. We smiled and hugged. My son, who's three, decided he needed to hug her too. When his first attempt failed due to his hands being full, he gave the items to dad and went back and gave her a bigger squeeze.

We sat down in the waiting room for a few minutes and quietly chatted. She remarked that it felt like she knew us already. They called us back moments later and her and I walked into the room where the transfer would be. The clinic assumed she'd be watching and when she realized this, she told me if I was comfortable it was okay with her, but she'd also be fine waiting.

I'd never met her before, at least not in person although we'd talked and text over the phone. You'd think I would have said it was awkward and kindly asked her to wait outside. I didn't. There was no apprehension, it seemed normal for her to be there. She stepped behind a curtain while I changed and when I was done and covered, she stepped back in with me. I sat on the bed and she sat in a chair positioned right by me. We continued to chat and the time passed quickly. Soon, a lady came in to give us the embryo report. Out of the five they had frozen, only two of them had survived the thaw. My heart sunk a little bit Before, the pressure hadn't been quite as bad as we had a guaranteed one or maybe two more transfers available to us if it didn't work. Now, this was our chance.  To add to the worry, the embryos were not the BEST quality, they weren't bad either, but they weren't as good as the twins' were.

We signed papers. We signed some more papers. Then, they loaded me up on Valium (to relax me I guess) and the transfer was set to begin. We chatted through most of it, seemingly oblivious that my legs were spread open and in the air, only covered by a thin sheet. We quieted only as we watched the transfer take place and we were shown where the embryos were now resting in my uterus. They brought me a blanket, and told me to remain laying for a few minutes.

I never so much as glanced at my phone, I was too busy chatting with Lara. I don't know what time the transfer took place exactly, or even how long we waited. I'll even go so far as to say it was almost disappointing when the lady came back in and said I could dress and leave. I wanted to talk more. Like a proper invalid, I was wheeled outside and to my car where my husband and child were already waiting for me. Lara and I hugged again and I stepped inside, closing the door behind me.

The whole ride home I spoke inwardly to the embryos, asking that at least one of them stick around so I could give this amazing person (and her husband Eric) a child.

I slept on the car ride home, and rested on the couch for the rest of the evening minus standing every once in awhile and wandering around the house as to not go insane. My heart was heavy, I felt like this was already off to a worse start than the twins. My one comfort, is that in the time following transfer, my IM did say she would be willing to do another few rounds. That would mean she'd have to go through another egg retrieval, another fertilization process, and although it meant are journey wouldn't end, I didn't want that for her, either.

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